Rest In Peace, you lovely Aussie

Renegade, Scab and Traitor

As if I didn't already hate George Clooney with the strength of a thousand suns, the bitch had to go and steal James McAvoy's spot on the list of this year's Academy Award nominees, which leads to the following pronouncement: The Oscars are a joke and this year's picks push that joke beyond laughable. It's just plain sad... AND embarrassing.

2007 was the gold standard of filmmaking in this century (well, so far). Astoundingly, several wonderful films were released last year, which got my toes a'tinglin' for the Oscars again after years of disinterest. Then they had to go and fuck it up royally.

Shafted in the name of Clooney ridiculousness: Across the Universe, American Gangster, Atonement, Hairspray, and Once, among others. I'd mention films like Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly and Gone Baby Gone, but considering that I have yet to see these, I can't make that judgment call at this time. But, I desperately want to!

I saw No Country for Old Men. It's pretentious fluff masquerading as great filmmaking and no one's got the balls to say it, but, dammit, I do! Use your brains, People!! These film intellectuals are trying so hard to be original that they've transformed into a bunch of left-wing conformists, which makes mockery of our purported intellectual superiority (haha).** The Coen's should have stuck to their Big Lebowski formula.

Michael Clayton? What a joke! George Clooney? An even bigger farce. I weep for James McAvoy. I'll say it again: He's the finest actor of my generation. The fact he wasn't nominated is absurd and shameful.

Fine, take the statue and shove it up Clooney's ass after you've kissed it for the millionth time! McAvoy's too good for the Academy, anyway. And what about Denzel Washington? Where's he on the list? Ay yay yay...

**No slight on Javier Bardem who deserves this nomination because, as ever, he's brilliant.

No Globes for Old Pen

Despite predictions, the world did not thrust itself into Armageddon because the Golden Globes were canceled this year. Thanks to "Old Pen" -- or the striking writers -- one of the most celebrated occasions of self-congratulation has gone the way of JFK: snuffed out before its time.

A press conference will replace the awards show this evening, which begs the question: who gives a shit? We don't watch the Globes or the Oscars to see who wins... Come on, not REALLY! We want what's being denied us: the designer outfits, the garish hair and jewelry, Jack Nicholson's child-porn grin, abundant cleavage (not Nicholson's), the droning "I'd like to thank my agent and my lawyers" speeches and, last but not least, Harvey Weinstein's double chins!

Hmm... Ok, maybe not.

P.S. Happy Birthday to the most amazing dad in the entire world, MINE! I love you!

Obama Mama

I invented a mixed drink this week with the help of my cousin Sara. I came up with the title, she provided the recipe. Brilliant! Wrap your lips around this:

Obama Mama

Malibu Spiced Rum
Banana liqueur
Coconut liqueur
Shot (or two) of Crown
Shake
Float Bailey's or Chocolate Liqueur