1. Neiman Marcus No Be Shame-a Themselves 2. Fair Weather Feminist

1. To quote my Italian great grandmother, Neiman Marcus "no be shame-a themselves" when it comes to sticker prices. Needless Mark-up would gouge your eyes out with a Williams-Sonoma ice pick if your ocular cavities were full of money. $300 for on-the-cheap-rack shoes??? $95 for a bra, size 32 G? What the heck is a 32 G??? Last I checked, cup sizes only went up to a Double D. But, I guess Neiman's female clientele are of the trophy wife variety-- size 0 chicks with size G boobs, purchased for them by their hair-sutured, grease-ball, millionaire sugardaddys. Makes sense that chocolates are sold as single pieces for $6.50 at Neiman’s. What else can an 85 lb. woman fit into her shrunken, over-priced body?

2. I have decided that I am definitely a Fair Weather Feminist (and that I am the first to coin the phrase, thank you very much). I will pull Gloria Steinem out of my ass when I feel that egregious wrongs are being done to me because of my sex. However, I am not above welcoming a 1950s status quo when convenient for me, i.e. letting him pay for dinner and having him lift heavy items when I can't be bothered to do it myself. AND most women are like this, even if they don't admit it! So I say: embrace it for all it's worth. Believe me, you'll have the last laugh.